Thursday, July 16, 2015


I am trying to get Dominoe into a routine.  Many routines if I can.  She used to be in a routine at home.  Now that she lives on her own not so much.  One of the routines is to get up, take her medicine, get dressed, wash her face, fix your hair, and clean her nails,

Routines also help her use independent living skills she has learned and needs to learn.  Today we had a discussion about leaving her house and
putting on her make up, fixing her hair, putting on a piece of jewelry, and putting on perfume.

She did have eye make up on.  I wonder where all of her jewelry went though.  I told her I wanted to start seeing some at church before I gave her any more.

Anyway over the years I have noticed routines help with her behavior.  We need to work on that.  I have learned routines are important with people who have Autism.  I need to work harder at remembering.  

Fair Share of Services

My second daughter is an adult with Aspergers.  She does not qualify for Developmental Disability Services.  Well she might if I really pushed the situation.  She would just barely qualify.  So over the years we have gotten her services from the Mental Health system or MHRS.  

She has a case worker that can see her up to 3 hours a week to work on independent living skills and a counselor that sees her one hour every two weeks. Oh and a psychiatrist that she sees once every 3 or 6 months.  It works for her.  

One of the things I pay particular attention to is if the case worker and the counselor actually see her.  They complain that she does not cooperate.  I keep saying if she was cooperative she would not need the help.  And it goes on.  

This is the same daughter who has a son who receives early intervention from EarlySteps.  He is 20 months.  She and I have talked about making sure he gets to see the 'teacher' his one hour every week.  He qualifies for that help and he deserves it is my explanation.  

Well imagine my surprise when she text me last week because she had not seen her worker in a while.  What is more she had called the main office.  She had been told the case worker had a visit with my daughter on her time sheet.  My daughter was hot.  Well in the end, it was a mistake.  

I am more interested in the fact she was worried about getting her fair share of services.  You never know when they are listening.  

Monday, July 13, 2015

Honey Moon Is Over

Here maybe 8 months ago we changed providers.  The former provider had changed supervisors.  Dominoe was unhappy and I was definitely unhappy.  The new provider was working very well.  I just kept telling everyone she was honey mooning.

Of course I was the meddling mother, the never happy mother, and the advocating mother.  But I try not to rock the boat.  So just recently one of the DSWs claims Dominoe hates her job and will not cooperate.  When every my self or the counselor asks her Dominoe loves her job.

I do not live with Dominoe.  She has supports 24/7.   There is no telling what was really going on.  Unfortunately, one day after work the same DSW and Dominoe went by the office.  They were running errands and the DSW stopped to get gas.  Dominoe proceeded to hit the DSW.

When the DSW called the provider office, they told her to bring Dominoe back to them.  Dominoe says the DSW hit her.  In all honesty there is no telling if that is true or not.  Dominoe has learned to lie at 26 years old.  I guess she has also learned that she does not have to do what I tell her too.

Dominoe seems fine with that DSW gone.  I really thought Dominoe liked that one.  I am embarrassed and upset that she hit someone.  Again.   There will have to be an investigation by Adult Protective services again too.

I really do not know how to feel about the whole situation.  Dominoe sees the counselor from the Community (Behavior) Support Team.  I just do not know.  

Thursday, May 28, 2015

The Next Generation

One of my daughter's, the one with Aspergers, has two sons.  The oldest one seems to have some problems.  He does not really make a lot of sounds.  I have been working with her and going to doctor appointments with her for a couple months.

She really does a good job meeting her boys needs and making sure they go to the doctor when they need to and when they are supposed to go.  She just did not really seem to be getting any where with the primary doctor after I sent her with questions several times.  Maybe she was not communicating the concerns clearly.  That would be typical of Aspergers.  

So I went.  We got a referral to an orthopedist for his foot and his leg.  There are twists where there should not be.  We also got a referral to and audiologist for a hearing test.  That is the first thing to check for speech problems.  I am hoping and praying there is not any thing major going on.  I am glad the doctor so readily was willing to give us what we wanted.  

Well I am also not sure why it was not working before.  Maybe because her son is still young?  He was only 17 months when we started this.  Then again it may be because I am not as willing to take 'no' or 'let's wait' for an answer.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Initial Steps for Parents of Children with Autism Having Problems in Special Education Services

I work with parents of children with disabilities on a regular basis. Many of those parents are parents of children with autism. At the point parents find me they are usually in some type of crisis with the school system.

After doing this for many years I have noticed some patterns that I hope to capture and write about. Sometimes the child with autism has been suspended or expelled. Hopefully the parent has reached out before an actual expulsion.

I know the parents I work with would like me to talk to them or make some calls and do something about their child’s situation. Fortunately I have learned that for long term results for the parents I should not and do not do that. If I do the school system personnel start interacting with me.

If I get the parents to call and ask for documents or ask questions, they may have to call me back several times BUT the school system personnel interact with them. That works better for their child and for them. It is part of the parent being and learning to be the expert about their child.

From the beginning I tell the parent we need to meet, just me and them. Then I give them a list of several documents I would like to see. If they do not already have those documents then they can go to or call the school and ask for them.

First to get a snapshot of what has or should have been going on this year I need the current IEP. Second I also need to see the last 3 year evaluation from the school system. Where I live there is a smaller evaluation if we are just agreeing that the child continues to need special education services. I want to see the evaluation where more in depth testing was done. Third I would like to see behavior plans, office referrals, Response to Intervention (RTI) reports, suspension reports, or anything else. 

All of those things are important before I am able to do something for a child with autism or any other disability. Ideally those are things the parent has readily on hand. Even if it is not the parent has some verbage to use with the school system to let them know they are learning how special education services work.
Dominoe, my daughter 16 years

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Home for Mother's Day

Dominoe came home for the day for Mother's Day. She just wanted to come for the day which was fine. I have noticed that when she comes to my house it is for less and less time. That may be due to her sister's babies. With a 19 month old and a 6 month old things are busy and loud. My daughter does not like loud. It is a sensory thing.

Another thought has occurred to me though. Maybe she is just getting older and does not want to be at my house as much. At her apartment she is queen of her castle. My older children are like that. They like their own house. She has staff with her waiver services 24/7 so that helps. I am not sure what we will do if or when that level of support is gone. I have a Plan B but it would be hard on her. I suppose we shall see.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

A Baby Boy

Well exactly one week and one day after we found out my daughter was pregnant she delivered a baby boy.  He's healthy and wonderful of course.

She and I on the other hand are not getting along well.  I was able to keep my mouth shut while she was pregnant.  My patience is gone now though. I did fuss long enough and loud enough that she has the shot before she left the hospital.

We won't have any time where she calls herself on the pill.  I understand and agree she has the right to have children if she wants.  I also know she doesn't understand the consequences of things.  There has to be some way to balance the two.

I'm still concerned that she didn't know she was pregnant.  I'm still wondering if it is the Aspergers. How can you not know?  She is still a wonderful mother but two babies under two is rough.
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