Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Complications of Aspergers

So I sort of alluded to the fact that I'm having problems with the second daughter, the one that has Aspergers.  I hate talking about her but as I believe I said this is my life too.  I'm at a loss as to what to do to help her other than go meet her and lead her through the things I want her to do.  Maybe this is part of parenting a child with ASD and I don't know it. 

She is having problems with budgeting.  I know alot of young men and women do have problems.  I also know it can be done - even on her small social security check (SSI).  I know this becaus it is done and done well with my oldest daughter's check by the provider agency.  My oldest daughter has what she needs and quite a few of the things she wants. 

The second daughter as close as I can figure out has a couple of problems.  I'm not sure if it has to do with the Aspergers or not.   The first thing is that she has difficulty planning for the entire month with one check.  She has difficulty anticipating her needs for a month. 

The second thing is she is busy taking care of other people, including her boyfriend, and gives/loans her money.  She loans money to the boyfriend's family and then doesn't get paid back.  Therefore her bills don't always get paid. 

Once again the only thing I can figure out to make it work is to take the day off from my job and go meet her to help her get things paid.  Of course that means I miss work.  And then there is the figuring out how to do this without making her so angry she doesn't cooperate.  I wonder if things are supposed to be this way?  Anyway that is my plan to go to her and make sure the important things get paid.  Then make sure she has food.  

Did I mention that it came out sometime during the past month that she had been going through the trash for food and picking up shorties for the boyfriend?  It just sort of popped out of her mouth at different times in the past month.  Do you see why I'm so conflicted? 

At the same time that I can see that she needs to be able to make her own choices and her own mistakes....  Is this one of the things meant by Independent Living Skills?   What do you think?  No one ever answers these questions but I keep asking? 

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